GAD-7 for Anxiety
Background
Robert Sptizer's widely used tool for quantifying anxiety, it constitutes 7 questions to score you out of 21.
Answer each in either 0-2 days (0 points), 3-7 days (1 point), 8-11 days (2 points), 12-14 days (3 points)
Try the test HERE
PHQ-9 for Depression
Background
Kurt Kroenke's widely used tool for quantifying mental health, it constitutes 9 questions to score you out of 27.
Answer each in either 0-2 days (0 points), 3-7 days (1 point), 8-11 days (2 points), 12-14 days (3 points)
Try the test HERE
Attachment Style
Background
John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth's work on attachment theory remains influential in understanding psychological assessments. Enter your email at the end of this quiz to receive a report on your attachment style (secure, preoccupied, dismissive, or disorganised) with 3 individuals (eg mother, father, partner) and in general: https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/relationship-structures/situation
Measure your pursuance.
Do you require constant reassurance in a relationship?
Measure your avoidance.
Do you require breathing room in a relationship?
Measure your Locus of Control
Who pulls the strings here? Is it anyone? Are we all just on a rollercoaster? Are you waiting for life to come to you? Check yours here https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/tests/personality/locus-of-control-test
Myers Briggs TI
Background
Understanding the MBTI can be enhanced by considering its relationship with various psychological assessments. Which of the 16 types are you? The best quiz for this can be found here: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
Measure your Introversion/ Extroversion
Do you feel anxious when you can't get access to friends?
Do you feel anxious when you can't get access to alone time?
Measure your Inntuition/ Sensing
Do you look at the immediate situation?
Do you look at the broad situation?
Measure your Feeling/ Thinking
Do you prioritise the logical?
Do you prioritise the emotional?
Measure your Judging/ Perceiving
Do you Improvise?
Do you schedule?
Going further: Jungian Cognitive Functions
What is your Hero, Parent, Child and Inferior? Read more here: https://www.myersbriggs.org/unique-features-of-myers-briggs/type-dynamics-processes/
PEL-SAC Assessment
Background
My Self, Attraction, Compatibility assessment looks at your position on dozens of spectra under the 3 umbrellas of Physical, Emotional, Logistical self-evaluation, attraction and compatibility. Then it looks where prospective partners fall on these spectra to be deemed the most attractive to you, and a broader margin that indicates compatibility.
Physical
Bulk, Height, Thickness, Muscularity, Symmetry, Breast/Penis size, Skin colour, Ethinc Traits, Gender, Style, Gait, etc
Emotional
Humility, Empathy, Conscientiousness, Playfulness, Openness, Creativity, (Fe)Maleness, etc
Logistical
Proximity, Wealth, Family ties, Social circle, Career, Availability, etc
Porous or Rigid Boundaries
Background
Terri 'Boundary Boss' Cole reminds us about the spectrum of boundaries. When it comes to vertain people or certain things, are yours porous or rigid? Her quiz: https://boundaryquiz.com/go/
Porous
Difficulty saying "no": Feeling compelled to agree to requests even when you don't want to.
Oversharing: Revealing too much personal information too soon.
Enmeshment: Becoming overly involved in others' problems and emotions, struggling to differentiate your feelings from theirs.
People-pleasing: Prioritising others' needs and approval over your own.
Vulnerability to manipulation: Accepting mistreatment due to fear of abandonment.
Feeling drained: Experiencing burnout from constantly meeting others' needs.
Rigid
Closed off: Unwilling to let others get close, emotionally or physically.
Inflexible rules: Resistant to new ideas or compromising.
Avoids vulnerability: Puts up walls to avoid hurt, often reacting with an automatic "no".
Protective: Effectively shields from pain at the sacrifice of deep connection and intimacy.
Rooted in past experiences: Often develops after negative experiences like abuse.
LOVE Languages
Background
American pastor and marriage counsellor, Gary Chapman, wrote in The Five Love Languages (1992) that people tend to give and receive love through 5 categories. This can change over time and based on who the target of our love is. Childhood experiences have great predictive power about our LL and vice versa. Discover yours at: https://blossomup.co/lp/love-styles/?
Being in tune with our partner's LL, even if it feels unnatural to us. And each dynamic can change as the maturity of the love changes, and constitute more than 1 LL.
Quality Time
This means shared attention and presence. Focused, engaged interaction, typically involving quiet or energetic joint activities at home or out together without 3rd parties. The defining feature is the experience of mutual pursuit, teamwork, and availability. So interruptions, multitasking, or perceived emotional distance can undermine a sense of connection.
Words of Affirmation
This centres on verbal expressions of care and appreciation, affirming their value, competence, or relational importance. Compliments, encouragement, affection are salient, while criticism or emotional silence may be experienced as disproportionately painful.
Gifting
This frames love as something conveyed through tangible symbols. Don't be mistaken to think this is the LL of gold diggers or sugar daddies since the gift’s monetary value is less important than the thought, effort, or meaning it represents. Gifts function as concrete reminders of being known and remembered. If this is your LL, a languishing flower vase on the mantle piece may feel like relational neglect.
Touch
These nonverbal, bodily expressions of affection, ranging from hand-holding, through eye-gazing, to sexual intimacy fill a more primal expression of love seen even in the animal kingdom. Emphasis is on touch as a communicative act, not merely a sensory one. A lack of touch can be experienced as emotional disconnection.
Acts of Service
This LL is action-oriented care. Practical help such as completing tasks, offering assistance, is interpreted as evidence of commitment and concern. Reliability and spontaneity are central. House chores are a great example. Conversely hurt occurs when promises are broken or help is withheld.